She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize