Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
