The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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