she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
