So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Randomize
