Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
