Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just want nice things and good sex
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
