3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You're like the curious george of whores
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
