I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
