I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
