Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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