is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
