shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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