Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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