Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Sorry about my life...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
