Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
