awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
