Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
