Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Randomize
