you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
There r osticjed everywhere
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
