I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
