i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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