Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
