You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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