i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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