if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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