all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
