12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
