Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
