oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
