i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
