i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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