I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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