every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
