Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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