since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
