i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize