dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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