in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
