I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
