You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
