he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
