i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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