Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
