fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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