i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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