I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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