My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
