I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
