she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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