I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
So vagazzling was a success
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
