Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
