Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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